Thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost

Thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost 8/26/12 Text: Ephesians 5:22-33 Title: Submit to each other as to the Lord. This morning I want to talk to you about what I believe is one of the most misapplied readings in the Bible. It has been used to put the burden of God’s law on wives for centuries. It is a shame, for it actually is telling of God’s wonderful love, as it is supposed to be shown by husbands. This particular reading from Paul’s letter to the Christians of Ephesus addresses the age old problem found in so many marriages; husbands dominating their wife and wives trying to dominate their husband. To properly understand what Paul is saying you need to understand what happened to Adam and Eve’s relationship when they no longer accepted the leadership of God. God placed a curse on both of them and all their ancestors. Besides telling them both that they would die he told Adam that he was going to have to work hard all of his life for everything he got. Work would be hard and not enjoyable as it had been. He told Eve that because of her sin the pain of childbirth was going to made much worse and as the oldest manuscripts of the Genesis account said, “You will turn toward you husband, but he will dominate you." This was the common translation of the Genesis text until an Italian Dominican monk named Pagnino who published a Bible in 1528 that translated the Hebrew word “turning toward” as “desire for”. This translation has stuck except for, as far as I can tell three English translations, ever since. 1 His translation is probably the best translation since Eve in her sin had turned from being under the rule of God, so God basically said to her, “Since you will not accept my rule you will, (remember this is a curse) now live under the rule of your husband Adam, a sinful human being who will not always have your best interest in mind instead of under my rule who always has your best interest in mind.” Now that you know the background we will look at the text today, as it is written in your service folder. Paul is almost at the end of his letter. He has told the people, thus us, that they are now different, for they through Jesus’ death have become light and are no longer to live as darkness. Last week I talked to you, well actually God talked to you through Paul’s writings about what the life of those in Christ was to look like. “15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph 5:15-21 ESV) Notice that he has written that we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” That is an important thing to remember as we go through our text for today. Let’s get started. “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Eph 5:22-24 ESV) Now, I think that I can safely say that most women today when those verses are read get upset. They usually say when I go over these verses in my marriage counseling, “No way that is going to happen to me! No one is going to tell me what to do or how to live my life!” While she is telling me this her future husband is usually sitting there thinking, “Way to go.” I then tell them both that before either one dismisses or misapplies God’s Word that they both need to understand what Paul is saying, especially to husbands. But first I tell both of them that the word “submit” does not mean what they think it means, for in the Greek the word “submit” is not a forced submission, but a willing giving of oneself toward her husband. The future bride is not too sure of that, for she is not sure, even though she probably would not admit it, that her future husband will always treat her properly. That is the problem that needs to be addressed. I will usually at this time turn toward the future husband and go over the text concerning his role in the marriage. “25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Eph 5:25-28 ESV) Usually by the time I have finished reading the passage the future husband has quit gloating over the possibility of ruling over his future wife. Just in case he might still not understand the gravity of what God has told us through the writings of Saint Paul. I explain to him that in his relationship with his wife he is to treat her the same way God has treated his Church. He must be willing to die for her. He must want to provide for her both spiritually and emotionally, not just her physical needs, so that she will be able to lead a godly life, fulfilling herself as a woman and fellow human being under God’s rule. I then turn to the future wife and ask her a question, “If your future husband were to treat you in such a way how would you react to that kind of love?” Would you willingly give yourself to him?” I have never had any woman say no, for any of us whether we are female or male in whatever relationship we are in would willingly submit to one who would treat us as God treats his Christian Church. The problem you see is not with the truth of God’s Word. The problem is with our sinful nature; with our seemingly natural desire to rule over each other. We see that in most of our relationships. I see it quite often in my role as your pastor. Someone will come to me with a relationship problem and usually after I have listened to them I will suggest that a good start toward restoring their broken relationship would be to start serving the other, as Jesus serves those in his Church. They quite often look at me like I am crazy. They want to control the situation. They want the other person to serve them. They forget that not only is serving the other without keeping score essential to a good marriage, but it is essential to any relationship, for it models, albeit in a sinful way, the relationship Jesus has with the Christian Church. Jesus became one of us, lived as one of us, died as one of us, not for himself, but for us. We all know that; right? We know that,w but yet so many think that Jesus, the Son of God the one who in his death restored, although not completely yet his human creation both female and male back into the relationship he wants us to be in with him and each other. We all, whether we are female or male need to quit playing God and follow his teachings, for in doing that we will lead happier and peaceful lives. That is his will. Amen. 1Kaiser, W. C., Jr., Davids, P. H., Bruce, F. F., & Brauch, M. T. (1996). Hard sayings of the Bible (98). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity.